Managing Up: Setting Healthy Boundaries with Your Boss

Daily routine to clearly identify your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual limits. What makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed?

“Boundaries can be defined as a limit or space between you and someone else where that person ends and you begin.”

Daily routine to write down instances where you feel your limits are being breached.

“Gather data on the times that you feel that the limits are being breached.”

Weekly routine to analyze how breaches make you feel, identify bothersome aspects, and remove blame.

“Go through the list and write down what it makes you feel after the heat of the moment gone.”

Monthly routine to discuss expectations regarding your role, responsibilities, and deadlines.

“In order to set stronger boundaries, you first need insight into what your boss perceives you can and should achieve.”

Monthly routine to discuss preferred working styles and communication methods to improve interaction and understanding.

“This conversation is about giving you the opportunity to re-examine the style of how you and your boss interact.”

Monthly routine to define clear terms of engagement, including work/non-work hour communication, meeting frequency, and workspace preferences.

“You'll also get to set the boundaries during non-work time and come to understand their expectations.”

Weekly routine to identify the most important and likely-to-recur boundary situations at work.

“Reserve these for the most important and most likely to recur boundary situations.”

Weekly routine to create 'if-then' statements that clearly define your boundaries in specific scenarios.

“Boundary statements are if-then statements.”

Monthly routine to discuss your boundary statements with your boss and seek their acknowledgment.

“Ask them to acknowledge and not approve it because for after-work stuff you really don't need their approval.”

Weekly routine to acknowledge and prepare for the likelihood of boundary violations by your boss.

“You need to mentally prepare for violations in the boundary statements because they will most likely happen.”

Weekly routine to rehearse politely and respectfully declining unreasonable requests from your boss.

“Practice saying no about saying no to your boss if it's unreasonable.”

Monthly routine to revisit your boundary statements and make adjustments as necessary.

“If that's the case, then it's probably a reason for revisiting the boundaries.”

Monthly routine to research your employment rights and legal protections in your country or region.

“Many people aren't fully aware of the extent of their rights at work.”

Monthly routine to identify sensitive topics and personal boundaries that should not be crossed at work.

“If you feel that any of these unspoken but legal boundaries were crossed and it makes you uncomfortable you may choose it to bring it up as a boundary between your professional and private life of your boss.”

Monthly routine to consider detaching emotionally or looking for new employment if boundaries are consistently crossed.

“Maybe the solution is to simply detach emotionally and look for a switch.”