Reframing: Change How You Think and Feel

Consider the question: How is the desk the mother of the chair? Reflect on how your mind automatically creates connections and stories.

“Your mind is a story creator.”

Identify recurring stories you tell yourself that shape your reality. Reflect on how these stories affect your feelings and actions.

“These assumptions, these stories create our reality.”

Review the case study of a client who reframed her thoughts about marriage and found happiness.

“How we consistently see problems, how we interpret life, that creates our reality.”

Learn the Six-Pack Exercise for creating alternative interpretations of situations. It helps to create space between thoughts and action.

“This exercise is all about creating space around our thinking so that we can hopefully choose which set of stories to believe, which set of stories we want to act on.”

Apply the Six-Pack Exercise to the scenario of a roommate who leaves their dishes out. Generate six alternative interpretations of their behavior.

“Just because we think something doesn't mean it's true, but how we consistently think leads to how we feel.”

Apply the Six-Pack Exercise to a recent situation that bothered you. Identify alternative interpretations and choose a more helpful one.

“When we can only see things one way, we are rigid, inflexible, and we often feel powerless to act.”

Apply the three questions (Is it truthful? Is it kind? Does it give me the power to act?) to your stories.

“Check your stories for self-deception, self-justification, and cognitive distortions.”

Practice the techniques of taking a break, doing a calming activity, writing about the problem, and seeking another person's perspective.

“Take a break from the situation. This gives you a chance to come back to it later when your head's clear.”

Embrace a growth mindset by asking what you can learn from challenges and how they can help you become a better person.

“With each challenge I face, instead of using 'Oh, this is awesome, this is good' or using 'This is a bad situation,' instead of using that kind of mindset, I ask myself what can I learn from this? Or how can this experience help me become a better person?”